Love and Hate: Film
Short topic on film.
My passion of photography started with film. While going through a few hundred rolls (approximately a thousand) in the span of a few years, I tried a few digital cameras but miserably failed at feeling any sort of satisfaction using them.
However I made a big turn in 2019, after getting the Leica Q-P and committing to it for a few years. I started to question the way film played a roll in my photos. Don’t get me wrong, to this day, I love the look of film - there is an undeniable magic to it. But that’s what got me. The magic felt too strong and filter-like.
Shooting digital has allowed me to shoot more and more images. I wouldn’t say the more the better, but it’s definitely been some sort of a speedrun towards photo-insanity. My photos have become less “traditional” from a compositional standpoint, more wacky, more daring, and more loose after millions of trials and errors. And the more I went this direction, the less the “film experience” meant something to me.
And from this standpoint- having a photograph that’s filtered through the look of a filmstock started to make less sense to me. I was looking into reality and was capturing unreal snippets. The point is to balance losing control, and having enough creative control around my thoughts. The grey asphalt I saw through my finder, ends up being slightly greenish through the fuji filmstocks, and yellowish through the kodak filmstocks. That’s not what I was envisioning. Maybe it looked “nicer” that way from a majority standpoint. But that started to not be my vision.
Maybe for a different project, this will make sense. But as of today… not for me.
The part I still love about film, is the tactility, the experience, and the inherent longevity of the cameras and format. No electronic sensors that feel inferior after a updates over a few year span. No weird lens-mount changes. Sticking to a film stock for a coherent body of work. No staring into lightroom trying to salvage a shitty photo. (well, mostly)
I wish there was a way to find peace with each format in my own way. But for now, I’m sticking to my ugly digital camera.
I have a really nice Nikon F2 set that I’ve put together over the last few years. Great camera and great lenses from that period. I love to shoot with it.
I also, on a whim really, purchased a little Nikon P7800 compact digital. It has a tiny 12MP sensor and a really good lens. The B&W photos it makes are every bit as good as what I can do with the F2, plus, as you say, I tend to shoot “freer” with it. The F2 puts me in “formal” mode; the P7800 takes me out of that way of shooting.
That, I think, is the value of digital. It expands your vocabulary.
Thanks for sharing this viewpoint, I think it's a very important one to make. We shouldn't stick to a certain format if it isn't expansive for us anymore, just because 'vibes'. There is no growth in that. I, for one, am always looking for growth in my practice. Similarly but slightly different to your story, I was very stuck in my digital setup that I had used forever. Same Canon camera, same zoom lens, until I finally started shooting film. Before, I was even scared to pick up another DSLR, fearing that I may not have the same control as I did with my trusty Canon. Shooting with tons of different film cameras over the years since starting to shoot film, I now know and am confident in the fact that I can pick up any camera and work with its quirks to find an interesting way to work with it. This, for me, was a great expansion. It all depends on your context and your starting point. All this to say: I've had a similar experience, but backwards! :-) Is it ok if I expand on this on my Substack and refer to your post?